Not So Clued In

Generation X is not mine, nor for that matter am I generation Y. I am going with E-Mail Junkyard and calling myself a Kool Kid (http://www.chainletters.net/?item=208).

I remember we had a Tandy when I was very young and the floppies were, well, floppy. Eventually we got a newer computer in my tweens. It was black screen with yellow text and the commands were on slips of paper above the function keys. I can’t forget our dot matrix printer. I was kind of a cool kid in school because my English assignments were typed.

Remember when you had the option to hand write or type?

I bought my first computer 2 years ago, a pretty MacBook. There are a few iPods (4) in my collection also. Admittedly, I let my husband fool with the big iPods; I only know how to load the shuffles.

Two years ago, at the behest of a long lost friend I created a Myspace page (it’s pretty cool), and now I have my own blog. I rock!

The other day I was showing the Myspace page to my husband and he began to look at my friends. There are four. One of them is a boy named Tom. When I began to explain to my husband that I had no idea who this person was he started to laugh. Big laughing. I went on to add that I did not give this boy permission to be my friend. Why was DH laughing at me?

Do you know?

Yeah, I do now.

So Totally Not Over It

Okay, so more reunion reminiscing.
All through high school, I was sort of a wall flower. I had my friends, but I wasn't the girl you noticed or pined for from afar. Not me.

And then . . . Senior year this football player asked me to prom. No one had ever asked me out, ever. (I know we saw part of this story already, I need to share another angle). I sat next to his sister in band and I guess that is where he noticed me and began pinning (whether you pined or not, this is my story jerk rat bastard). One day he approached with his virile, jock, manliness and asked me to prom. What? You know my name? Yes I'll go to prom because I know who you are and you're kinda cute.

We were suppose to be dating but he never called, and we never went anywhere. I think I went to visit him one day while he worked, maybe. Nothing. Maybe a week after he asked me to prom and one week BEFORE prom he said he didn't want to go with me anymore. I was heartbroken. Maybe he heard I rumor that I put out (I did from time to time) and was upset that we hadn't even gone to first base, seriously! I'm not sayin' I wouldn't have kissed this boy, but how can you if you are never together?

So, I paid for my own prom ticket and went with a group of girls just like me . . . dateless. Of course football player was there with another girl that looked eerily similar to myself and they danced and had a good time. I think she was a sure bet to put out on prom night while I wasn't.

Although this was painful, it was probably a good thing because I went to a fraternity party after prom and had a hell of a good time with people that really liked me and were upset that I didn't ask them to prom. I didn't think college boys wanted to go to a high school prom. Sometimes you underestimate how much people REALLY like you and REALLY like being your friend.

Now, lets back up. We know why football player rejected dumped me. Supposed best friend that can now be seen as the jealous best friend, was planting lies in football players ears.

I ask you rat bastard, why you believed her?

Moving on. A few months out of high school football player and I ran into each other crusin' the strip. We flirted and road around in the back of a friends truck. The butterflies were there, however, again there was no physical contact. Eventually, the novelty wore off and the whole thing fizzled. In the end football player accused me of being a pretentious bitch, not his words. From his point of view I thought I was too good for him because he worked at McDonald's.

NOT TRUE. I am not like that. He had a job, he had some ambition, McDonald's wasn't his life's calling and I knew that. We all have to eat shit sometimes and when you're young, as we were, you tend to eat more than most. Again, I say, if you have no contact, there is no relationship. He called maybe once and we never saw each other. Through my fraternity friends, boys were there. They came to visit if they wanted to see you, made the first move if they wanted something, I never had to work for anything. Football player wanted me to work. Uh-huh.

I am married to the best man ever and we are so blissfully happy. Sometimes it makes me want to throw up we are so happy. But, I bare a wound of rejection (and betrayal). Normally, it doesn't bother me, truly. However, seeing his name and his RSVP makes the wound sensitive again.

I think I'll go call my husband.

Don't get your hopes up

Sunday I had to be at work at 7:00pm. This means I get up at 5:00p, shower, compose, and leave. There is rarely time for dinner at home unless DH (dear husband) has helped with pizza, spaghetti, or lasagna.
I had just stepped out of the shower and was trying to tweeze a whisker (28 and a whisker, really?) when DH opened the bathroom door. Of course I was a little mortified and turned quickly and "guiltily."

DH: What's for dinner?

Me:

DH: There is nothing here

Me: I know (really I did, not even bread for a PB&J).

DH: Do you want me to go get something?

Me: Would you. (oh the excitement, he is so wonderful).

DH: You have to be at work at 7:00pm? I'm going now.

I ironed my scrubs, dried my hair and even started my make-up. Where in the world was he? Oh, crap, my phone is on silent. What if he has been in an accident?

45 minutes after he left he came home with groceries.

DH: I got pizza (looking at the clock) do you have time?

Me: No

DH: Do you need money?

Me: Yes.

I felt like crying. What is wrong with me? I may have had to eat out tonight, but there is pizza for tomorrow or bread and lunchmeat for sandwiches. He even bought straws. This man did so much more than most and yet I was disappointed.

What attitude!

Oh heaven help me, I just treated a nurse like a three year old.

I work for a remote pharmacy system. That means I sit at one hospital and answer phone calls from other hospitals about medication orders and locations of drugs. A very nice and dear nurse called looking for an intravenous medication.

Me: According to our records, the Acme pharmacist sent three doses up today at noon.

Nurse: It isn't in the Pyxis. Do I have to override?

Me: No it came from the pharmacy. It is in a foil bag.

Nurse: It isn't in the refrigerator. Where is it?

Me: No it isn't refrigerated. Where do you keep the IV's they send?

Nurse: I looked in the fridge and it isn't there. I am looking on the MAR and in the Pyxis it isn't there.

Me: (pushed too far) No - it - isn't - in - the - Pyxis. They - sent - it - from - the - pharmacy. (Realizing I went to far) I think my phone is not working, it's broken.

Nurse: Okay. Okay. Bye.

Crap.

They say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. What about your frenemies?

With my 10 year High school Reunion looming, I can't seem to get old friends and enemies out of my head. In today's overly connected society, people can find you easily, and it is your fault.
Two years ago I created a MySpace page because I friend asked me to. Now with the reunion, old classmates are finding me. Well, not only through MySpace, but also through classmates.com. Again, something I did to myself.
I was really surprised when a classmate I wasn't really friends with contacted me through myspace. It was a pleasant surprise. She married her high school sweetheart and moved out of state. Very nice story for a very nice girl. Adding her to my friends list opened a door I'm not sure I was ready to open.
My family moved to Oklahoma when I was a freshman in high school. My association with Band brought me instant friendships, however, there was an outcast. Everyone told my to stay away from this girl. Rebel is my middle name and I took her to be my bosom buddy. For 4 years we were inseparable sisters and then . . . who knows.
A boy I didn't know, but liked, asked me to prom. What?! Someone asked me to a dance, on a date? Doin' a little jig here folks.
I had been "seeing" a boy who attended the local college, but we were not exclusive. I stopped talking to college boy when this young man asked me to prom. For reasons I still don't understand my best friend told my prom date that I was seeing a college boy. My prom date dumped me. It still hurts me when I think of this. I was incredibly disappointed and stunned. If he liked me, why would he do this? I didn't have a reason for a few days. Then college boy called. Apparently my B.F.F. told college boy that I was seeing high school boy. College boy wanted me to know he wasn't upset by her news but thought I ought to be concerned with her behavior. I was. By the way, still fondly reminisce of the college boy and his roommate. Two finer gentleman you will never find. They were so . . . thoughtful and concerned for me when my best friend turned. Until my husband, I never knew such fine men.
I digress. After my "best friend" ruined prom, I didn't talk to her for a while, but we pseudo patched things. Eventually, our relationship couldn't withstand the strain of betrayal and it withered away.
She has made contact with me through my stupid MySpace account. At first, I was excited. She is twice married and her current husband is a looker, just as she has turned out to be. The more I think about it, I wonder, why do I want her back in my life? Do I want to let this person back in? For now, yes. I made many stupid, horrific mistakes in high school. Some make me flush to even think about, stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know what to think. For now minimal contact is fine. Besides, she is over 400 miles away. Oh crap. Not helping me relax. 400 miles makes damage control very difficult.